My Jerk Of A Dad And I
by Yanelle
Summary: "This is the Great Micronation of Sealand! One day I'll become the greatest nation out there, I'll even be greater than England, the jerk. Everybody would bow before me!" "Peter! What are you doing in the attic? Come back downstairs and eat breakfast." "I'm coming, dad! I hope America isn't down there, I do not want to know what happened during their date last night." T to be safe.


A/N: What is up with me? New plot bunnies, please leave me alone. I still have a fic to update! Well, since this fic was born, might as well post it, yes? Well, please enjoy this fic, and since I am sort of running out of ideas, you are all free to suggest ideas for this fic. If I think I could write it, I'll put it in a chappie. Chapter length may vary from chapter-to-chapter. Well, here goes...

Warnings: Language(not that much, but still) and some USUK moments(for Sealand, that is a warning), and of course, this is unBETA-d

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, but I do own a sketchpad with fail fanart on it.

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CHAPTER I: So what if England's my dad?

"I am the Greatest Nation of Sealand, bow down before me!" as I said these words, all of the nations, including France, Germany, Russia and the others bowed down and cheered for me. Finally, after so many years, I have become the greatest nation, the strongest superpower. I've beaten America and the others, especially the jerk, England.

Speaking of the jerk, where is he? And where is the other jerk, America?

I then see two people walking near me. No, those two aren't humans, they're nations! As they were coming closer, I recognize the two as England and America. Both were smiling. Are they both so happy I was the most powerful nation on earth?

"Sealand." America stepped forward. "Since you are the greatest nation, can you do something for me?"

Being the greatest nation, how could I refuse a request? "Sure, what is it?"

America looked at England and motioned him to come closer. When England was beside him, he spoke. "Well, me and England-"

"It's England and I you git." England interrupted.

"Yeah. So, England and I were planning to marry, and I, I mean we were hoping that you'll give us your blessing."

I was too shocked to speak. America marrying England? That was just gross! It took a few seconds for me to get my voice back. "Er, you marrying England?" America nodded. "But why ask for my blessing?"

"Well…" America glanced at England, and then England decided to speak up.

"America already asked my brothers' and Ireland's blessing, so all we need is yours." America's arm crept to England's waist.

My mind was reeling. They're really serious? And they even asked Scotland, Wales, North and Ireland? "Okay then, you have my blessing." How did that come out of my mouth? No! I don't want them to get married.

I look at the two of them. Both were smiling. "Thank you Sealand." America was about to kiss England – right in front of me! I need to do something! I refuse to see them get married!

Their lips were almost touching as I shouted –

"NO! I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET MARRIED! GET AWAY FROM MY DAD!"

I sat up from my bed. What kind of nightmare was I having? It turned from the greatest thing that would happen to the worst. As I was about to ponder about my nightmare more, England came bursting to my room and sat down beside me.

"Peter? What happened? Are you alright? Why were you shouting?" England was wearing an olive green robe. I guess he just came out of his room.

I screamed the last thing I said in my dream, didn't I? I sigh and replied to England. "It was nothing, just a nightmare." I look at the bedside table and look at the time on the clock. It read a quarter after six. It was that early?

"Is that so? Oh well, you better get up and freshen up then. There's a World Meeting today and I'm hosting it, so I need to go there early, and I know that you'd want to come too." Thank goodness for England's obliviousness in a sense.

I was about to reply when all of a sudden, America shows up. Half naked.

"Good morning. Hey, Sealand, you're up early." What was America doing here? Half naked? And by the looks of it, from England's bedroom. Did they have another date last night and he stayed over? Was that why England said he has a business dinner to attend to last night? I think I was lucky that I'm a heavy sleeper. I do not want to hear them do whatever they might have done last night.

I look back at my dad. Yes, England's my dad, not my older brother. Why do you think we have the same surname? Don't give the Italy brothers as an example, they represent one whole nation, so of course they'll have the same surname.

My dad, Arthur, looks at me, smiles and then looks at America. "Okay both of you, freshen up and go downstairs for breakfast. We have a busy day ahead." And with that, he leaves the room and goes down the stairs, leaving America and I.

I stare at America, well, it's more of a glare actually. He notices it and smiles at me.

"Hey there kiddo. How are ya?" he starts dishevelling my still messy blond hair. I take his hand off my head and glare at him more.

"It's 'How are you', not 'How are ya', and stop calling me kiddo. I'm the great micronation Sealand! I'll be the greatest nation of them all!"

America chuckled. I can't believe he's laughing at me! "You sounded like Iggy, correcting me and all. It was so cute, but not as cute as your dad." He just said that my dad was cute! In my face! And calling me cute and comparing me with England. I didn't know if my face turned red or turned pale, but I did know I was weirded out about how openly he could talk about my father of all people.

America looked at me again and his face turned serious. "I know that you don't approve of my relationship with your dad, but I hope that you'll accept it someday." He then stood up and his expression turned cheery again. "Okay! Let's get changed and go downstairs. If we take too long, your dad would just drag us himself." As he reached my open door, he looked back at me and smiled, not one of his 'hero smiles' but a more sincere smile and closed the door.

After America left I went to the bathroom to freshen up and got dressed. I wore my usual sailor uniform with matching hat and went downstairs. I guess I took so long since I arrived to the kitchen to see England seated on the countertop being kissed by America. Gross! If I don't interrupt this, it might, no, it would, turn into a full makeout session, and I don't want that happening.

I quietly go back upstairs and noisily go down the stairs. I hope that with the noise I'm making would stop them from whatever they were doing. Why didn't I think of this earlier? It would have saved me from seeing THAT.

As I walk into the kitchen, I see America smiling happily while humming a tune that I don't know. I look at my father and see him blushing madly while continuing to cook. He's still in his robes by the way. After he finished cooking, he served breakfast and we ate. Some of the food was burnt. Now that I think of it, dad always serve burnt food whenever America was around and I don't come across any burnt food when he isn't here. Does that mean they were doing those kinds of things while dad was cooking and I wasn't around? I think I just lost my appetite, but knowing dad, he'll question me why I didn't finish the meal he prepared and I don't want to awkwardly answer him. I forced myself to eat everything on my plate to not raise suspicion.

After we finished eating, England has gone to dress while America was forced to stay downstairs. I headed to my room to get my bag. I know that I won't be taken seriously during the meeting, and I'll end up in the lobby with the other micronations, so I might as well bring some things that would relieve me of boredom. I packed some blank sheets of paper, pencils and crayons, an eraser, some sticks and a ball of yarn that Ladonia or Kugelmugel might want, and my camera and phone. After having everything I might need, I went back downstairs and waited in the living room for England to finish dressing.

After dad was downstairs, the three of us went inside dad's car with England taking the driver's seat, America taking the passenger seat, and I was stuck riding at the back. I look at the time, it was only seven-thirty. The meeting usually starts just after eight-thirty, but with the building only a fifteen-minute drive, dad would have enough time to make sure everything was ready.

The drive to the meeting is always an eventful one when America was there. I'm not just sure if it was the good or the band kind of eventful. He'd comment about how Brits drive at the wrong side of the road, how he's still hungry and how the serving of McDonald's here is so small, and other things he might have said that I ended up not listening anymore.

We arrive at the building ten minutes later than the time we were supposed to have arrived. America just had to say he was still hungry and we were forced to go to a McDonald's drive-thru. As we went inside, I see a few nations and micronations staying on the lobby. I see Germany with Austria and Hungary sitting on one of the upholstery, the Nordics (Tino saw me and waved, I waved back), and I saw Australia and New Zealand with Wy, but no sign of Hutt River (maybe he's just somewhere else or just stayed behind).

Dad had to go check up on the meeting room so I was left with America on the lobby. "Hey, Sealand, what do you want to do while we're waiting for the meeting to start?" I looked America. "I'll stay with Wy and the other micronations before and during the meeting, I guess."

"Sure, I'm just going to sit here then." America plopped on one of the upholstery in the lobby and took out his phone, to play with, maybe? Since I'm sure America wouldn't be paying me any attention, I went towards Wy and my brothers (Australia and New Zealand ARE England's other sons).

Australia took notice of me and waved for me to go towards them. "Peter! (waves) Come sit with us!"

"Hi Oz. Where's Hutt?" I smile at Wy and New Zealand.

"He decided not to come, mate. Technically, both of you shouldn't even be here." Australia was looking at Wy and I. I know that Serina (that's Wy) and I aren't nations per se, but hey, we're micronations, and we're known for doing whatever we want.

I guess I didn't have to reply to Dylan's (Australia) statement since Andrew (New Zealand) said things for me. "Dylan, micronations do whatever they want, whenever they want. It's useless to argue with them – no offense." None taken Zea.

Just when I thought today would be like any other World Meeting, I just had to be so wrong – so completely wrong. After my conversation with my 'siblings' cut short because of the start of the meeting, I sneaked inside the meeting room (heck, I'm the son of England – I'm bound to be good at spying too). Usually, nations wouldn't associate themselves that much with micronations, but a select few would actually talk to us (you guys already know of the Nordics, add the Italy brothers to the list, Seaborgia is their brother, maybe add Prussia and Austria, do you not see Kugelmugel's similarity to them, I say he' s their child or something like that), but today had to be different. I was about to announce myself, but America had to beat me to it.

"Yo! Peter, what are you doing inside the meeting room, dude? Your dad forgot something." The stupid American turned to my dad, who was wearing his best don't-look-here-you-idiot-or-you'll-end-up-revealing-something-secret-face, but of course, it's the American, he's so bloody oblivious to notice that. "Artie, I think your son wants to talk to you." As America said it – being England's son, that is – I just had to stop myself from slapping my hand to my forehead, but since the urge was so strong, I ended up doing it anyway. The funny thing is (if you were anybody who knew me as England's son and not his brother, well, you'd be laughing at this, I bet) my dad and I ended up faceplaming at the same time. Nobody would have noticed it since almost all of the nations were either to shocked to speak, sleeping (or was sleeping), screaming questions or just like France – groping my dad while he's still paralyzed from the shock of one of his most kept secrets being revealed just like that.

In the back of my mind, a tiny voice tells me _'Get your dad and run!' _ SO I did just that.


End file.
